2000 in 12 in 2012

That's my new goal.
Specifically, it means that my goal is to run 2000 meters in 12 minutes in 2012.
The motivation: This is the time for the endurance run for a Grade 7 referee.
I am currently a Grade 8 soccer referee. This means I can referee most levels of state youth soccer, both recreation and competitive. Getting to Grade 8 was fairly easy, I just had to sit through a class and take a test. Grade 7 is much tougher, as it requires the test, plus a physical fitness test, evaluations, ref'd 100 or more games.
The physical fitness test consists of the following: Run 2000 meters in 12 minutes or less. Rest 15 min. 100 meter dash in under 17 seconds 50 meter dash in under 9 seconds. Rest 15 min. Ladder Drill (5+10+15+20+25 meters) in under 50 seconds. Agility Run

Now, your average in shape dude probably looks at that and says "no big deal". Not me, it scares me because I know I can't do it right now.
I'm going to concentrate on the 2000 meter run first, and if I can get into good enough shape for that, then I think the other areas of the test will follow.
My goal is to be able to pass the fitness test by March 31st next year - when the spring season begins. I will have to wait a bit longer to get my upgrade, as it will take a while to get 100 games in.
Why am I doing this? Call me crazy, but I like it. I love the sport, and I enjoy being out there on the field and running around. To get to grade 7 is a challenge, but it puts me on the path to be able to work higher level games, even college games, and who knows from there.

First things first though. The achilles tendon is getting scraped on Nov 11th. Looking forward to getting this pain out of my ankle.

To Be or Not To Be?

Here I am again, asking the same old questions. To be fit, or not to be fit, that is the question. You would think the answer would be obvious, but saying and doing are 2 different things.
Status Update:
-So, after my busy May post, I really got out of the groove. I just plain quit working out. I've never been any good at working out in the summer months - too much to do. Life is too busy. I put back on 20 lbs. I kept telling myself - I need to get back to the gym, need to start eating better, but alas, nothing changing.
-My dad came into town to stay. Then he passed away sooner than expected. Big transition there, lots of emotions to deal with. I could write a whole post on how his health affected mine, and how his health was an example to me of what not to do. I don't want to die when I'm 67.
-Work has been busy.
-Side business has been busy.
-School started again. I really did not expect that I would repeat every grade 4X during my adult life. Did I mention I hate homework.
-I'm the fat ref. I wanted to be in better shape for the Fall season, but that obviously didn't happen. So, for the moment, I'm the fat ref. I hate it. I could do so much of a better job if I were just in better shape. Still 2 - 3 weeks left of this season. Not much will change about my physique in that time. The hope is for a better showing next spring.
-Part of my problem is my achilles heel - and I'm not talking donuts. I have a big ol' bone spur on my heel, and it is raising holy heck with my achilles tendon. The pain is such that I'm walking with a slight limp, and I need to get it fixed. I'm going to try an 'in-office' procedure in a few weeks, and see if that helps. If not, then it's foot surgery to remove the spur.

So, why 'to be or not to be'? I have a buddy who is big into weight loss contests, and always organizing them. There was one over the month of August - and I failed miserably at that one. Another one starts tomorrow. It goes for about 5 weeks. It's only $25 to enter. I don't know if I have the umph to enter. Ideally, I should. I need something to get me going. How do you change, when you know what the right thing to do is, but you don't feel like doing it.

Super

Will this madness called May never end? I absolutely hate and love this month at the same time. It's great, it has Mother's Day in it, and my wonderful wife's birthday, and my little brother's birthday, and we even get a holiday. It also contains lots of school things going on, performances, and lots and lots of baseball games, soccer games and the like. It is a very, very busy month. To add on top of that, I'm a guy who can't say no. Can you ref 5 soccer games this week? Sure! Can you get this major construction project done? And my project, and my project, oh, and mine too? All to which I gladly say YES! AM I NUTS???? No, just sleep deprived.

So, I managed 1 day of working out last week. It was with a trainer, and it was great. I was sore for 2 days - and that was only the result of doing an introductory workout with him for 15-20 min. (Yes, I've got a long way to go). But, did I mention that I Ref'd 5 games last week. A double header on Wednesday, a double header on Thursday and a single game on Saturday. I also ran the Deak's Run for Hope 5k on Saturday (more about that in another post). I spent Sunday trying to recover.

Anyway, I ended up being down 2lbs on Friday's weigh in, and I'm heading in the right direction again. I decided to sign up for 6 sessions with the trainer at my gym. So, starting this morning, I'll be working with him once a week for 6 weeks. I think this is what I need to kick my butt into gear and keep going. He had me doing chest/shoulder super-sets this morning. It was killer. My arms and shoulders feel like jelly today. Good workout though. I'm a little embarrassed about how weak I am, but I can't get stronger unless I put the work in. And he pushes me in a way that I won't push myself. I will almost never lift to failure on my own, but when he is working with me, I can do that and gain the benefit of pushing my muscles to the limit. Now I just have to keep going. These last 2-3 weeks of May look killer busy on the schedule. I still have to find time for me, and to work out, and to eat right.

I'm no superman yet, but I'm working on it.

Catching up

Crazy. That's the word for it. I've been meaning to do blog entries for the last two weeks, but each Friday (weigh-in day) has found me busy going and doing something else. Truth in blogging moment here: I am a thief. Truth be known, I write my blog from my desk at work each Friday, like I'm doing now. I try to wait till lunch time, but I don't always do that. Technically, it is stealing and I really need to quit doing it. Anywho, I've been busy, but there has been a lot to say, so here are the bullet points:
-On April 22, I weighed in, and I had lost 2 more pounds. Yeah me. But, I was still disappointed, because my sis and I had a 'no sugar' bet going on for the week prior. I won. Again, yeah me, and she owed me $30. I can have will power, but only for a week at a time. The disappointing part was that I had hoped to do better because I wasn't cheating.
-That week showed me how often I reach for sugar. I think I've been fooling myself thinking I was following some sort of eating plan.
-I think it's a combo of the calories and what you eat (carbs, proteins, fats, etc). I think you have to watch both.
-The following week I didn't work out at all, except for 1 day, Friday. And I ref'd a game Wed night. That's it. Boo!
-On Friday, April 29, I gained back those 2 lbs I lost. Dammit! But ya know, I didn't work out, and sugar came back into my life, because our bet was done on Easter. Did I mention that I really like sugar?
-Later that day I got on a plane and went to San Francisco with my mom. Fun trip. Great time seeing the city. Great food. Too much of it in fact.
-Downer moment. Had to ask for a seat belt extension on the return flight. I got by without it on the way there, but my seat was different on the way home, and while I could get the regular belt latched, it was uncomfortable. Dammit! Reality check!!! That, right there, let's me know that I have a way's to go still. Did I mention I hate being fat?
-Good moment. Mom to me "you need new jeans, those are too big on you". I know mom, but I like comfy, but thanks for noticing.
-Downer moment. Looking at my pictures from the trip when I got home. Unfortunately, I had to snap a few with me in them. I still look way fat. The oversize jeans didn't help. This is why I avoid pictures of me like Osama Bin Laden avoids capture. But again, reality check and motivation.
-Good moment. Those pants I bought a few weeks ago (when I wanted to get into a smaller size, but found the whole thing very uncomfortable to wear them one evening), well I'm wearing them today. They aren't my baggy, comfortable ones, but they fit. Yeah me.
-As I said, lots going on. Work and kids games, and more work, and the yard. Springtime is busy. Maybe that's why I always do well in the winter, and the spring and summer kill me.

Sometimes I feel like this guy.

But I'm sticking with it.

Capable of so much more....

These are words that I've always dreaded. Growing up, there were always reminders of the fact that I had all the gifts and tools to do great things, but I always seemed to fall short.
-I'm a smart dude, but I pulled very average grades.
-I am/was 6'4", and big and strong, but was a very mediocre HS athlete.
-I am a friendly person, and get along well with others, but I don't seem to be a great leader.
-I am a decent engineer with good creative intuition and instincts, but I'm not world class.
-I make decent money, but I live in a small house, and I'm not really getting ahead.

Potential vs. reality.

A lot of this has to do with work ethic. In some ways, I am a hard worker, but I know that I am very lazy too. I totally admire people that have a strong work ethic. They are the people that seem to succeed in life, they are the ones that set goals and achieve them, they are the ones who take every ounce of talent that they've been given, and couple it with hard work, sweat and determination to get the very most out of life. They give it their all, and are not afraid of failure. They don't just get by, they get ahead.

How does one change their work ethic? I don't think its by blogging about it. Is it God given, or is learned? Does it have to be taught or instilled by a parent, or can it be self taught as an adult. To be honest, I'm not totally sure. I don't even know if it can be changed. But, I am going to try and find out.

So, why this thought, this week. Well, cuz it was another mediocre week, a week that could have been so much more. Another week where I did lose weight, but I was not on my game, and my eating sucked, and the results could have been so much better. It is a balancing act. It's tax time. Lot's going on with kid's baseball and soccer. I've starting refereeing soccer. Work is busy and stressful. There's a lot going on. Yet, all of these factors didn't make me eat a blueberry muffin today. Some of them may have made me miss a workout or two. The thing is, I still see the whole situation as something that I can manage, its fixable. The major question is, if not now, when?

As I mentioned, I ref'd my first ever soccer matches this week. It was bad and good.
The bad: It was cold, windy, raining, sleet and a little bit of snow. The field was a a big patch of 3 inch deep mud, and wide pools of standing water. By the end, I couldn't tell that I had black shoes and socks on, because I as brown from the knee down.

The good: I think I did a good job. I only had a couple of calls questioned, and the games went well. And in the end, I had a coach tell me "it' nice to have a ref who knows what they are doing". I pride myself on knowing the game. I know that I have a ton to learn about ref'ing, but I'm excited to learn. I know, I'm a geek. The other part of the good is the fact that it gets me out there running around a bit. Extra movement and calorie burn is always a good thing. And it provides a bit of motivation too. My uniform is a bit snug, and I just don't want that. I also want to be able to move around a bit better on the field. I don't want to be the ref that the players complain about because he is always out of position to make the right call.


My head is still in a good place. I know I can do better. I'm working toward that.

Current Weight: 347 lbs. <> 2 lbs lost this week <> 43 lbs overall in 15 weeks.
Current BF%: 37.4 <> Down 0.1 this week. <> Down 4.3% in 15 weeks.

Ch ch ch changes

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Don't want to be a richer man
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Just gonna have to be a different man
Time may change me
But I can't trace time

It's the chorus from the song by the same name by David Bowie. It's a subject that I've been thinking a bit about lately. Changes in life are difficult, and people generally don't like to change. I know I don't like to. Keep an even keel, and keep the ship on coarse, and all is well. Yet, we find things in our lives that we are not satisfied with, things that could be better, but they require the "c" word, change. Change is often likened to eating an elephant, a task so large, and so daunting that most don't even want to consider attempting it.
If you think about the elephant differently, a bunch of small meals instead of one large, large feast that would be impossible to finish in one sitting, the task seems more obtainable. And that addresses another issue, time. You see, change takes time, and we live in a society of of instant gratification. Change takes too long for most. So, true change takes time, long term focus and dedication. You have to view it that way. Small steps, over time, making a difference in the overall change.

Weight loss is a giant elephant for me. I ate most of him once over 9 months in 2008. I didn't eat all of him, but I ate 140 lbs of him. Trouble is, he came back. That elephant is really pesky, and I don't like him much, but I have to deal with him. If I want him to go away forever, I've got to quit doing the things that keep him coming around. He likes it when I eat fast food. He likes it when I don't work out very hard, or not at all. He likes it when I buy muffins at Costco, claiming they are for the family. That elephant really needs to go for good. He stinks, breaks stuff and I don't like having him around.

I guess I've just been thinking about the process this week. The motivation, the daily changes, the perspective, the ups, the downs. I feel like I'm in a good place right now in my journey. I'm feeling stronger all the time. My fitness level is getting better. I did an hour on the elliptical yesterday at a 150 bpm heart rate. Am I perfect? Not even close. I ate cheat food at least once a day for the past week. Eating right is a major deal for me. I know that I have to keep working on it. I know that I have to break down this elephant into smaller pieces. Why do I eat foods I shouldn't? I've got to break in down into smaller bites or battles, battles that I can win.

All that being said, I lost that 1 pound I gained last week, and a little more. I'm not perfect, but I keep going. This whole thing is a process, a journey. Keep the perspective, and keep up the effort.

Turn and face the strain....

Current Weight: 349 <> Down 2.5 lbs from last week. 41 lbs overall in 14 weeks.
Current Body Fat%: 37.5 <> Down 0.3 from last week. 4.2 overall in 14 weeks.

Stuff I learned this weekend

Me getting back after my 'run'

1) I am not near as in shape as I think I am. We went to our cabin in the mountains this weekend, and I thought I'd be a good boy and get my workout in on Saturday by doing a little jogging. If you follow the main road from the end of our driveway to a a dead end gate, it is exactly 1 mile. I thought I'd do an out and back. Now, this route, does have a few elevation changes. It about killed me. It was about 45 deg outside, w/ snow and slightly muddy roads. I did ok, but it took me 32 minutes to do those 2 miles. I was a little bummed about that. I've done that route quicker in the past. I was also pretty sore. The treadmill is very forgiving. Oh well, reality check.
2) Being frugal doesn't usually mean comfortable. I bought a pair of pants on Thursday that were 1 size below what I am wearing right now. My thought was, if I am going to lose weight, why not get a pair that I will grow (down) into. I fit into them, but the waist was tight. I went to a function Saturday night wearing them. Ugh! Most uncomfortable 2 hours of my entire weekend.
3) I set up my workout for April. Change is always a good thing.
4) Calories in vs calories out. This may deserve its own post later, but a conversation I had with my bro-in-law got me thinking about how this little cornerstone of the weight loss world may not be totally true - or at least may not be bound in good scientific theory.

Well, back at it for another week. Need to lose that pound I gained last week, and a few of his friends too.

No joke!

I hate April Fools Day. I'm just not a prankster, and I don't like deception, even if it is just for fun.

I wonder if my scale knows that it's April Fools Day? It must, cuz it said I gained 1 pound this week. I'm hating that, but it is what it is. I'm disappointed, but not depressed. It just makes me resolve to do better at watching what I eat, and giving more time and effort at the gym.
It's about the journey and the change, not 1 week's result.

A Reason to Run

I think I've said it before, but just to be clear, I hate running. Even when I was an athlete in high school, I still dreaded running. I loved playing football, basketball, and the like, but I hated conditioning and hated running. I've come to grips with my dislike for this activity and I do it anyway. It is a fantastic way to get in shape and stay in shape. The late fitness guru, Covert Bailey once said, "show me how fast you can cover a mile, and I will tell you what kind of shape you are in".
So, this morning, I'm on the treadmill at the gym, doing my heart rate thing (keeping it between 135 and 145), thinking "I know I can go faster than this, I know I can cover a mile faster than this." But the end game here is to burn fat, not to cover ground asap. I then got thinking about the 5k's I want to do this summer. I can think of 3-4 I want to run. The first one that I was really planning on was a 5K on the 4th of July in Centerville. BUT, I had another one brought to my attention that I think I will do first.

Let me introduce Deak.

Deak has an extremely rare Chromosomal abnormality, simply titled Ring 18. Deak's parents are friends of my little sister. I've only had the pleasure of meeting Deak once, but I feel like I know a lot about him due to reading his mom's blog. He is one cool little kid, and he inspires me quite a bit. And despite all of the odds stacked against him, he is a fighter and so are his parents.

Deak's mom has put together a charity benefit 5K on May 14th in Kaysville.

I am so there.

Here is a link to the race: Deak's Run for Hope

Go there, read about Deak, read about his life, and you too will be inspired.

So, I've got some getting ready to do. I'll still be doing my heart rate based training each week, but I'm going to throw in some training to improve my stamina and cardio efficiency to get ready to run. Thanks Deak! See you on May 14th!

More Number Weirdness

This morning's workout was on the elliptical. Talk about a wide variety of numbers for calories burned, during a 50 minute session, keeping my heart rate between 135 and 145.

Precor Elliptical (with my heart rate signal, weight entered, and age entered): 850 calories

Polar FT-7 HRM: 540 calories

SparkPeople: 1058 calories

Seriously!?!?!

Now, before anybody thinks I'm getting hung up on numbers, I'm not. I'm just a geek, and wonder why the numbers vary so much. I tend to think the real number lies somewhere above what the Polar is telling me, but not much more, maybe 10% more. Each system has it's own limitations. I think the Polar would be the most accurate IF it were also taking into account my BF%. But, now that I think about it, it may be worse. I'm a 350 lb guy right now. If I were this weight but 20% body fat, my lean body mass would be somewhere around 280, vs the 37% body fat that I actually am and my lean body mass is around 220. Which engine burns more fuel? The 220 or the 280? Obviously the 280. None of these systems asks me my body fat %, and are probably making assumptions to arrive at a number. I'm going to keep digging into this.

Not that any of this matters anyway if I'm not tracking my calories - which I have done a really bad job at lately. Must resolve to do better at that. Usually if I'm not tracking my calories, it means I'm not eating right.

In the end, all that matters is moving more and eating right. These number tools are fun to play with, but none of it matters unless you are doing those two things.

Going by the numbers

I finally got my HRM monitor!! I happened to be looking in the classifieds over the weekend, and found a guy who had just posted the exact Polar FT-7 HRM I was looking for. Brand new, only opened the package, for $40 less than I could get it online. Called him immediately and went to his house Sat night and got it. Wahoo!

I fiddled with the thing on Sunday. Got all my stats put in. Layed there in bed for 10 minutes doing nothing trying to determine my resting heart rate. It was right around 70. True resting heart rate should be taken first thing in the am though. But in that 10 minutes I layed there, it said that I burned 30 calories - doing absolutely nothing. If I extrapolate that out over an hour, it's 180 calories in an hour. If I take it further to 24 hours, it would mean that I burned 4320 calories in a 24 hour period. Huh? By all other accounts my BMR is 2500-3000 calories per day(not including exercise). So, I don't where the discrepancy is, but I found that interesting.

I was a dope again over the weekend, and stayed up way too late watching Season 3 of 24 (curse you Netflix!). Hence, no gym on Monday. Today, however, I made it. I hit the treadmill with my new HRM on and ready to go. The treadmill immediately picked up the signal from my transmitter (yes!). Today's goal was to keep my heart rate between 135 and 145 bpm. For me this means alternating between walking and light jogging. My workout time was 50 minutes, and I covered about 3.25 miles. I can cover that distance faster, but my heart rate goes a lot higher if I do, and I'm trying to keep it in the 'Fat Burning Zone'.

Here's where it get's interesting. I had put my weight and age into the treadmill like I always do. At the end of my workout, the treadmill told me that I had burned 669 calories. My FT-7 however, told me that I had burned 554 calories. When I put the activity into Sparkpeople, it told me that I had burned 470 calories. So, going by the numbers, how many calories did I actually burn in my workout? Being the engineer that I am, I'm going with the average, the number in the middle, the 554.

I will keep going with the FT-7. I need a bigger chest strap. The one that it comes with does not fit my 52 in chest. Luckily I can order one. This will be an interesting experiment as I keep going.

Reaping and Sowing

The Law of the Harvest. The adage is about as old as time itself. As you sow, so shall ye reap. Whatever you put into something dictates what you get out of it. The more planning, preparation, attention, focus and devotion you give to a project, a garden, a child, a spouse, anything in your life, it generally turns out well. We all know that if we neglect something, it will rarely turn out well.

As I was trying to think about how to theme my blog today, sowing and reaping came to mind. Why you ask. In a weight loss effort, such as I am now engaged in, and have been many times in the past, the law of the harvest is so very applicable. No, it's not an exact science. Not always do the efforts you put in for one week, dictate the results you see at the end of the week. I sometimes think that we fail to take a step back and gather in the whole picture.

My week was mediocre. I did not track my food as well as I should have. I did not eat as cleanly as I should have. But, I didn't overeat. I tried to keep my calories in check even though the foods weren't the best. Exercise was hit and miss. I skipped a couple of days at the gym in favor of sleep, but I've also had good workouts the last three days. It was kind of an up and down week. Frankly, I thought I would see little to no change on the scale this week. 2 pounds was a nice surprise. I wanted a little more than that, I wanted to be under 350, but I hadn't put the work in - eating, workouts etc.

Often times, I have to ask myself "How bad do you want it?" What am I willing to give up or change to get this weight off and live healthy? Change takes time. 2 of the biggest things I have to change are 1) to quit eating at fast food restaurants - meaning that I need to pack my lunch more often, and resist the urge to pull into the drive thru when I feel a little hunger pang, and 2) I need to go to bed earlier. The reason I missed the gym is that I stayed up to late over the weekend, and that threw my sleep cycle way off.

If I want better results, I've got to give it the effort it deserves.

Weekly Weigh In:
Current Weight 350.5 lb <> 2lb lost this week. <> Down 39.5 overall in 12 weeks.
Current Body Fat% 37.6% <> 0.1 down this week. <> Down 4.1% in 12 weeks.

Keep on going!

Variables

In continuing with my science and math theme from a few days ago, I'm talking variables today. Variables are those things in an equation that are not numbers. They are usually represented by letters such as x, y, a or b. When the variables in an equation change, the outcome of the equation changes.
One good practice in scientific processes is that you never change more than one variable in an experiment at a time. If you do change more than one variable at a time, then you don't know which variable had the greater impact on the outcome, or if they both equally shared in changing the outcome. This is a no-no if you want to truly understand how each variable affects the outcome.

Had enough science yet?

The same applies to the 'this or that' that I was talking about last week. There were a lot of variables I wanted to tweak to see if I could increase my weight loss (outcome). The problem was that I did a little of all of them, and my results were pretty good this week.
1. I tried to eat more protein and less carbs. Was I perfect, eating a 3g protein to 1g carb ratio? No. It was more like 2:1. But still, more than I had done before.
2. Exercise at a lower heart rate. Instead of pushing it up to 148 - 158 bpm, I kept it 130-140 bpm. Did it help? IDK. I still felt like I got a good workout. I know I didn't burn as many calories overall, but maybe there is something to this 'fat burning zone'. BTW - I still have yet to buy my HRM.
3. Drugs. Yes, I take medication to help me lose weight. I take Phentramine. I truly think, that in 2008 when I lost so much weight, it was the phentramine doing most of the heavy lifting. I think my body is used to it now, and so it is not as effective. So what did I do. I upped my dosage to what it was in 2008 before I quit taking it. 1.5 pills per day instead of 1. This is likely the largest factor for my success this week, but who knows for sure. Eventually I'd like to get away from this stuff.

So, changing which variable made them most difference? Again, I don't know. This is why you should only change one thing at a time. And even then, the human body is so complex that it still may throw you for a loop.

Well, another week, another little bit of me gone.

Numbers for this week:
Weight: 352.5 Down 4.5lbs this week. Down 37.5lbs overall in 11 weeks.
Body Fat%: 37.7% Down 0.6 this week. Down 4% overall in 11 weeks.

Listen to my heart

As an engineer by trade, I love numbers. My kids think I'm a bit weird, that is, until I can totally explain their math homework. But anyway, I love numbers, and metrics, and trends, etc. There is science behind losing weight. At the very center, make calories out be greater than calories in, and you have the basic equation for losing weight.

I am able figure out the calories in part, and track it using Sparkpeople or any calorie counting program. BUT how do you know how many calories you are burning? If you work out on a treadmill or an elliptical, it will tell you a few things. If you hold the hand grips, it will tell you your heart rate. If you enter your age and weight, it will give you a calories expended output. There is a limitation to those numbers.
1) They are not 100% accurate. The treadmill does not ask for my body fat % or how fit I am, so the calories it says that I'm expending are probably an average.
2) I believe the heart rate to be fairly correct, but you have to hold on to the sensors to get a reading each time. I'd rather not have to do that all the time.
3) The machines are only a snapshot of what you are doing while on them. What about when I lift weights? What about when I jog somewhere other than a treadmill?

Calories expended during the day is a studied science, but something that is still unique to each individual. I have a formula that I found that takes into account your lean body mass ( meaning that its the muscle part of things that is doing the work, not the fat).

It is stated: BMR = 370+(21.6 x Lean Body Mass(kg))

That produces a number that says I need X number of calories just to function each day. You then get to put a multiplier on it if you workout. In my case, the multiplier is 1.5. This is called TDEE. It stands for Total Daily Energy Expended.

Right now, mine is around 3800 calories. If I stay under that, by say 1000-1500 calories per day, then I lose weight.

So, back to the ways to measure my calories out. I need a device. I need a tool.

Right now I am considering the following:
Polar FT7 Heart Rate Monitor
Garmin FR60 Heart Rate Monitor
BodyBugg Calorie Tracker

I've had a polar HRM before, and I liked it. There are pros and cons to each. I'm leaning right now toward getting one of the HRM's (Garmin or Polar), and then, maybe later picking up the Bodybugg.

I'll let you know what happens.

This or That

Should I do this, or should I do that? To me weight loss still remains a huge mystery. There are tons of experts, plenty of people that will tell you to do 'this' or 'that'. It's a journey to be sure, and I truly believe that everybody has to figure it out for themselves. What works for one person might not work for you, and vise versa.

Today, I am frustrated. I only lost 2 lbs this week. And yes, while it's still 2 lbs in the right direction, I just feel like I'm capable of more. I feel this way because I did it 3 years ago. 3 years ago I was losing an average of 3-4 pounds per week, sometimes more, and very few times less. In the same 10 weeks in 2008, I had lost 56 pounds. This year, 33 pounds.

I wish I had tracked my food intake better at that time. I wish I had tracked my exercise better at that time.
Here is where I 'think' I'm different right now.
-My workouts are not as long right now. I'm pretty sure I was getting in 1-1.5 hours of exercise 4-5 days a week in 2008. Right now, I get about 45 min, 4-5 days a week.
-I 'think' I was eating more protein and fewer carbs. I don't know this for sure, because I'm only going off of memory here.
-In 2008, phentramine was new to my body. I think I have built up a resistance to it now.

Anyway, all that being said, I'm trying to figure out what to tweak. One 'do this' I'm looking into is to lower my intensity on my workouts. Keep my heart at 60-70% of max. This might be hard. It will definitely take a leap of faith.
My diet clinic is telling me to increase my intake of protein. Right now, I've been taking in approx 250g of protein per day, and they say I should up it to 350-375g per day. That is a ton of protein. I don't know if I can do that. We'll see.
Yet other voices say, "that's too much protein", eat more good carbs, have a good balance. Other studies say, calories in vs calories out is all that matters. Eat good foods, and stay within your calorie budget. Ugh - I just want to throw my hands up! Not give up, but holy crap, there's a lot of differing opinions out there.

So, for this week, I will be lowering my workout intensity a little, and increasing my protein intake -while lowering my carb intake. We'll see what happens.

Numbers for this week:
Current Weight: 357 (2 lbs lost. 33 overall in 10 weeks)
Current Body Fat %: 38.3% (Down .2% this week, and 3.4 in 10 weeks)

Progess in picutures - 30

I said I'd do it, so here it is. It's my 30 lbs lost picture(s). In the one you can see that I'm holding a 30 lb dumbell. This represents the weight which I'm no longer carrying around with me. 30lbs doesn't weigh that much to a guy my size, it isn't even 10% of my total body weight, but it's good progress. As I've said before, I don't like pictures of me, but I think I need to do this. I plan to do one of these every 10 lbs I lose from now on.

Focus

A couple of years ago I was taking a CAD class, and the instructor asked the class why a certain operation wouldn't work that he was trying to do in the CAD program. He knew the answer, but he was testing us. I was the only one who raised my hand, I knew. If the operation, process or function didn't have the FOCUS, it would not execute any commands. On a PC, you give something focus by clicking on it with your mouse.

Same goes for us, at anything we do, but especially weight loss. If an effort doesn't have the FOCUS, then nothing happens.

In this process of weight loss, what do you focus on?

Food/Fuel/Calories In
I have been a lean, mean, tracking machine this week. One week in with the Sparkpeople website and mobile app, and I'm hooked. I can say that since last Sunday, I've recorded everything that went into my mouth. The real time feedback is awesome. I can see where I'm at on my calorie intake, and that is broken down into carbs, fats, and proteins. When considering eating something, it makes me stop and consider a few things, like: do I know the nutrition count for this item?, and how will this affect my food budget for the day? I've been able to stay right around 2200-2400/day calories for the week. Considering that my BMR without working out is right around 3000, and more like 3800 when I do work out, I am aiming for a 1500 calorie deficit each day. Hopefully that equates to a 2-3 lb loss per week.

Working Out/Calories Out
Tried going more cardio this week. Utilized the Precor AMT 100i trainer at the gym. It is a free motion elliptical. It's a great workout. Also got back into running this week. I suck at running. Heck, I shouldn't even call it running. It's more like walk/jog/walk/jog/walk etc. for 45 minutes. But hey, I've got to build up to doing a 5k or two this summer. Overall, a good week working out. I missed Weds due to a brain lapse on my part, but overall good.

Clothes/Strength/Energy
So, if you don't focus on the scale, this is what you focus on. My clothes are getting looser all the time. I'm out of one waist size of pants, and down to the next. My closet should have a revolving door on it. I'm finding it easier to get up earlier. Currently getting up at 5:40am. I'm trying to buy about 5 minutes earlier each week, and it's working. My energy is good, and I'm feeling stronger.

Numbers/Scale
While the intangibles are nice, I still need to see the numbers. When you are 160 pounds overweight, the numbers have to be there. Hence we visit the scale once a week. I must admit, it was in my head this week. I did a couple of midweek checks, and I was not progressing as much as I would have liked considering how I was doing with diet and exercise. Alas, the numbers were decent, but not as much as I'd hoped for:

Weight: 3 lbs lost. 31 lbs total in 9 weeks.
Body Fat %: up 0.4%. Down 3.2% in 9 weeks.

As I said, I was hoping for a 5, but I'll take a 3 after a couple of weeks of 1's.

There's a lot to FOCUS on. It almost has to be selfish. It does take time away from other things. Yet, I am worth it, and I can't afford to lose my focus again.

Testing out my mobile device.

Today is a new day

I thought I'd post a picture of me. Why? Well, because you should have a record of where you have been. I want to be able to look back and see my progress. I didn't do this last time around, except for a few pics when I had lost a bunch of weight.

I HATE having my picture taken when I'm heavy. It makes me mad and depressed. BUT, I have to do this. It makes it real for me (as if it wasn't already). It is that visual reminder that I've got work to do.

Last week was a crossroads, and eventually, the right stuff won out. You see, typically, I hit 7-8 weeks into a weight loss effort, and I begin to fade. I quit eating right. I quit working out regularly. Slowly, it all begins to slip away. I was really freaking out (in my head) about this. "No, this can't be happening" I thought.

I had to get out of my funk. I had to find motivation.
- I spent a lot of time Thurs/Fri reading fitness and weight loss blogs.
- I signed up for Sparkpeople, so I could track my exercise and diet both online and on my phone. And it is working. Yesterday, I ate the exact number of calories I was supposed to.
- I watched episodes of Heavy (http://www.aetv.com/heavy/) - A&E's new show about weight loss. Great show, in some ways better than Biggest Loser. While some of those folks are heavier than I've ever been, I can still relate to what they are going through.

While at the A&E website, I entered a contest for a 10 day retreat to the spa at Hilton Head Island where the show is taped. For the contest I needed a photo.

So, I took a photo this morning. Yes, I'm at 362, but I won't be there for long.

Its a new day!

Getting inside my head

It's been strange 24 hours in there. This week has been difficult. Not bad, not good, but definitely a week to reflect on what I'm doing here.
You see, the week (between weigh ins) started off with a little 4 day vacation to St. George for my daughter's soccer tournament. I did so well on Friday, working out in the morning, eating well on the drive down, etc. Then Saturday came, and little snacks started to slip in, the carbs, the pancakes, the rolls and bread, the tortilla chips and salsa. Needless to say, we ate out a bit, and I chose to enjoy myself. Now I didn't go nuts. I didn't order dessert or anything, but I didn't stick to what I ought to be eating. And I didn't exercise. The weather was crummy, and the schedule didn't cooperate. So there. - But to make matters worse, I was out of my routine when I got home (waking up that is), so I didn't go to the gym on Tues. Then Tues night I had to stay up helping the teenager with homework, so I blew off the gym on Weds. Finally, Thursday I get back to the gym. Oh, and this morning too.

My eating SUCKED this week. I still eat far too few vegetables, I eat way too many processed foods. I'm filling up my car yesterday, and I just could not resist a chocolate cake donut. UGH! What the hell? I was in the gym 5 minutes before that. I need to start keeping a food journal.

Eating right and working out is a cyclical relationship for me. One fosters the other. When i am getting to the gym, I am more likely to eat right. When I eat right, it somehow makes getting to the gym easier. So, this is why the brain is up there at the top of the post. It's all psychological. The inspiration, the highs, the lows, the "I can's" and the "I can'ts". Mental, it really is mental.

What am I doing here? - The things that go through my head go something like this:

"I'm in this for the long haul"
"Don't get discouraged by low numbers"
"10 tortilla chips won't hurt me"
"If you would eat right, you'd have better numbers each week"
"If you would eat right, you would not feel yucky"
"You need to give the gym at least an hour a day"
"Do I really have to eat that much protein?"
"You need to go to bed by 10:30"
"Quit making excuses"
"You have to make choices that are permanent changes"
"Patience grasshopper, concentrate on making progress and being healthy"
"I want cereal for dinner"

And on and on it goes. It's a battle every day.

What do I know?
- I know that I don't want to be fat anymore.
- I know that my quality of life will improve as I become healthier.
- I know that I will live longer if I eat right and exercise.
- I know that change takes time and determination.

I know that I have to keep going.

I guess I could ramble more, but I won't. This is my blog, and my thoughts.

Despite of all of this, I did manage to lose 1 pound this week. Again, not by any means stellar, but still pointed in the right direction.

Numbers:
Weight: 1 lb down. 28 total in 8 weeks.
Body Fat% 0.3% lower. 3.6% overall.

Here's to staying with it!

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...

Ok, so that is a little over the top. It really wasn't that bad of a week, but it wasn't that great of one either.
The good: Good workouts, when I went. Ate relatively well, approximately 50% of the time.
The bad: Missed a couple of days at the gym. Had far too many cheat treats
The result: 1 pound lost this week. Body fat % dropped, which was good, but still, I'd like to see more than a 1 lb difference.

Carbs are evil. I know they hinder my progress, and I eat them anyway. I really need to stick to the greens and the leans. Like my new background? It's a bit busy, but it's a reminder to me of what I need to eat more of. More green, less brown.

Anyway, off for vacation this weekend. Will still try to workout. Going hiking. Should be fun.

Numbers:
Weight: 1 lb this week. 27 lbs overall in 7 weeks.
BF %: Down 0.4% this week. 3.3% down overall

Today's post is brought to you by the number 5

The scale, she is a fickle mistress. Yes, it's Friday and weigh in day. As you can tell by our sponsor, it was a really good day. 5 big ones this week! Yeah me! I think I'm finding my groove. Great workouts at the gym this week. Fairly good on the eating, although always room for improvement (I don't think a Hillshire Farm Cheddar Brat on a white bun counts as 'good eating' last night).

So, here are the no's.

Weight: 5 lbs this week. 26 lbs overall in 6 weeks.

Body Fat %: Up 0.1% (bummer, but still ok)

Last night I was running my son's b-ball practice, and actually got out there and played a little bit, running up and down the court with the boys, doing a little passing and moving around. Was it a pathetic effort by most standards? Yes. Did I feel better than when I did the same thing back in December? Totally! I'm very much looking forward to getting to the point where I'm doing this without hesitation, without fear of pulling something or tweaking something - as Nike says - so I can JUST DO IT.

Pants on the ground

I think last year, there was a mini sensation on American Idol with some crazy old black dude getting up and singing some song about 'pants on the ground'. Today is feeling a little like that. The pants are definitely looser today - thank heavens for belts.
I'm not looking at the scale each day. By happenstance, the scale at the gym has disappeared, and the one I weigh in on each week at home is in the basement, so not convenient. So, I just don' t weigh in each day, and save it for Fridays. Last week was a bit rude on Friday - only losing 1 lb. This week I hope will be better. But, I guess what I'm trying to get across is that with me not weighing in each day, I tend to focus on other indicators, such as the fit of clothing, the way my body feels, the amount of energy I have.
Don't get me wrong, the scale is still THE SCALE. It still says that I am WAY overweight. But, during the week, I can focus on doing my best with eating and working out at the gym, and not worry about some number.

A pound is a pound is a pound

Guess how much weight I lost this week?

Yes, 1 frigging pound.

Now, the man or woman who is within 10% of their goal weight might be satisfied with such a number, but I am not. Not in the least.
-I worked out hard this week. Tried to get in at least 45 min in each session. I even worked out twice last Friday. Yes, I took Sunday and Monday off, but 6 workouts in the week between weigh ins should be cutting it.
-I ate good. Did I cheat a little? Sure. But not bad. Not whole cheat meals. A bite here and there. Hmmmm.... Probably still need to tighten that up. I need to eat more often, and smaller meals, and more protein.
-My body fat % dropped. If I crank the numbers on this, it would mean that I gained 1.5 lbs of lean muscle, and dropped 2.5 lbs of fat. Net loss = 1 lb. But these days, I don't believe that number too much. You see, at the beginning of the year, my BF% was 41. At MD diet they use a foot impedance machine, so it is primarily measuring through your legs. At home I use an arm one. My one at home had been showing me drop from that 41%, but when I went back to MD diet last week, I was still at 41%, which pissed me off. My BF monitor at home gave me a reading of 38.8% this morning, down from 39.4% last week. Fact is, unless you do a dunk tank measurement, it's hard to know for sure what your true BF% is. All the BF scales in the world are just good guesses. So, why use the BF monitor? It gives me a gauge each week to see how I'm doing. Going up, or down.


In the end, I probably did gain muscle and lose fat this week. So, that is good. The frustration comes from looking back at my progress in 2008, and I was losing 4-5lbs / week at this point in the process. It could also be that the drugs are not as effective to me now as they once were.
Regardless of those things, I have to keep going. Like most things in life, I want this NOW, and I don't like waiting. Yet, I know that it is a process, and it takes time. It takes time to change habits. It takes time to get your body convinced that it should let go of the fat that it has.

I was thinking about it this morning in the shower.... I'm hoping it's like a dam, with a small crack in it. It lets out water ever so slowly at first, but the more water that continues to be let out, the more 'erosion' occurs, and the crack gets bigger, and then before you know it, the rate of water (fat) leaving increases. Maybe a rock comes along and gets stuck in the crack every now and then, and the flow slows a little (plateau). Eventually, the water works on that rock enough to make it move, or the dam material around the rock moves, allowing the blockage to go free. Yes, I want the floodgates to open now, and just be done with it, but that's now how it works - and I would kill all the people and things living down stream ( I have no idea what the correlates to). So, for now it's a bit of a dam problem. But, I will work my dam hardest to keep going. The dam will eventually break from the pressure of the water due to gravity. My own personal dam will eventually break, due to the pressure I place on it by consistently working out and eating right.

Was that long winded enough?

Lastly, stats..

This week
1 lb down, 21 total in 5 weeks
BF down 0.6% Down 2.2% in 5 weeks.

Don't short change yourself

This is the battle I have every morning at the gym. It begins with the battle to wake up on time, and not hit the snooze button (which I inevitably do - at least twice). Then it's get dressed and off to the gym. Once at the gym, I am fully aware of the time, and I know what time I have to leave to be to work on time. You see, 3 years ago when I lost all my weight, my employer at the time had 'flex time', which meant that I could come in as late as 10am if I wanted to, as long as I got my work done, and as long as I got at least 40 hours in for the week. Now, I work at a place that is not as flexible, and I HAVE to be there by 8am. Hence, the workout is done by 7:15 sharp, so I can shower, dress and commute. So, what does this long winded explanation mean? It means that I often end up short changing myself in the gym - timewise - workout wise, maybe only getting in about 30 min of exercise.

I read somewhere last week that Jillian Michaels had said that you need at least 45 min of continuous exercise to make the workout 'worth it'. So, worth it how? Well, while any amount of exercise is a good thing, getting up to or past that 45 minute mark is where your body starts have the afterburn - which is your body kicking up your metabolism post workout. I've read this in other places too, and I believe it to be true. While my results have been decent this time around, there are not what I was getting 3 years ago. In 2008, I was getting in 45min to 1 hr workouts at the gym, sometimes more - and I was seeing much higher weight loss numbers each week.
So, the shortchanging part comes into play, of making the decision to get up earlier, get to bed earlier, eating right. I mean, I'm getting to the gym, so I may as well get the maximum effect out of it.

Anyway - this weeks #'s.

Down 3 lbs. 20lbs total in 4 weeks.
Bodyfat % remained the same.

I'm excited that my daughter does not have an indoor soccer game tomorrow at freaking 7am - yeah! this means I can go to the gym!

Good and Bad

The good was losing 3 lbs this week (weigh in last Friday). The cool part of it was actually gaining body mass and losing fat. I lost 3.5 lbs of fat, and gained 0.5lb of muscle.

The Bad was having an extremely busy day Friday an Saturday, not getting to work out, and eating lots of things I shouldn't have.

Have to get back at it this week, to keep going, in spite of it all!

Finding the weight-loss program that works for you - ksl.com

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Read this on KSL.com today. I wholeheartedly agree with what the story says. There is no 1 way to lose weight.
You have to find what works for you. The major barrier is knowing what to do AND then doing it. Everybody knows what they should do, it's just doing it that we have a tough time with.


Finding the weight-loss program that works for you - ksl.com

BTW - 4 lbs this week (weight check last Friday).
Overall Weight: Down 14 lbs
BF%: Down 1.5%

Great workout this morning. Managed to move my wake up time 15 min earlier. Maybe someday, I'll be able to get up
at 5am to workout. For now, 5:45 is proving to be enough of a challenge.

Decisions

It's the decisions you make in the small moments that have the greatest effect. These decisions and their consequences can have a ripple effect on many other feelings and behaviors down the road.

This morning, at 6am, it was 'do I get up and go to the gym, or climb back in my warm bed?" The bed won, until the snooze alarm had to be silenced. Then the simple thought went through my brain.... "I don't want to be fat any more". Time to go to the gym. And so I did.

Which path do you choose?

I'm Baaaack!

How many times do I have to start over at this???? Answer: As many as it takes to get it right, or give up and die.

I can sit around and be depressed about the fact that my last effort lasted for all of 7-8 weeks.
I can sit here and feel sorry for myself.
I can say I just don't care, and start thinking about picking out a casket.

Or NOT!

This week has been great. I got back to the gym - 4 days this week. I feel awesome. Yes, I'm totally out of shape, but I feel great today.

It's the keeping it going I obviously struggle with. Not losing my motivation has got to be my focus. I've got to commit to healthier habits, food, gym, sleep, IN SPITE OF what life throws at me. ( I stole that from my sister, and she from her husband).

I almost feel embarrassed for losing the 10 lbs I lost this week. It should have never been there in the first place! I've been by this place in the scale so many times, they are going to remove the number from the scale and just put my name there! Never the less, I'm going in the right direction, and that is what counts.

So, the gym is back in play. Regular visits to the diet clinic are happening Eating better is the order of the day. The spreadsheet and the numbers and goals that go with it are updated and staring me in the face each day.

This is how it goes.

Press on.