Wednesday, November 7, 2007

I'm depressed - I don't know if I can ever stay with it.

Well, it has gone the way it has always gone. I get burned out, I quit, I give up, the last contest couldn't even keep me from backsliding. I've spent the last few months putting the weight back on. I'm back up close to 400lbs again. My jeans are tight, and I'm uncomfortable. I've been watching NBC's Biggest Loser the last few weeks. It inspires me and depresses me at the same time. The thought of modifying my eating again, going back to the gym again, it all just seems so worthless. I'll just fail again. I don't want it to take 2 years to lose the weight, I want it all to be gone quickly. I know it doesn't work that way, but my motivation is lacking. I've got to do something, I can't keep going like this.