Focus

A couple of years ago I was taking a CAD class, and the instructor asked the class why a certain operation wouldn't work that he was trying to do in the CAD program. He knew the answer, but he was testing us. I was the only one who raised my hand, I knew. If the operation, process or function didn't have the FOCUS, it would not execute any commands. On a PC, you give something focus by clicking on it with your mouse.

Same goes for us, at anything we do, but especially weight loss. If an effort doesn't have the FOCUS, then nothing happens.

In this process of weight loss, what do you focus on?

Food/Fuel/Calories In
I have been a lean, mean, tracking machine this week. One week in with the Sparkpeople website and mobile app, and I'm hooked. I can say that since last Sunday, I've recorded everything that went into my mouth. The real time feedback is awesome. I can see where I'm at on my calorie intake, and that is broken down into carbs, fats, and proteins. When considering eating something, it makes me stop and consider a few things, like: do I know the nutrition count for this item?, and how will this affect my food budget for the day? I've been able to stay right around 2200-2400/day calories for the week. Considering that my BMR without working out is right around 3000, and more like 3800 when I do work out, I am aiming for a 1500 calorie deficit each day. Hopefully that equates to a 2-3 lb loss per week.

Working Out/Calories Out
Tried going more cardio this week. Utilized the Precor AMT 100i trainer at the gym. It is a free motion elliptical. It's a great workout. Also got back into running this week. I suck at running. Heck, I shouldn't even call it running. It's more like walk/jog/walk/jog/walk etc. for 45 minutes. But hey, I've got to build up to doing a 5k or two this summer. Overall, a good week working out. I missed Weds due to a brain lapse on my part, but overall good.

Clothes/Strength/Energy
So, if you don't focus on the scale, this is what you focus on. My clothes are getting looser all the time. I'm out of one waist size of pants, and down to the next. My closet should have a revolving door on it. I'm finding it easier to get up earlier. Currently getting up at 5:40am. I'm trying to buy about 5 minutes earlier each week, and it's working. My energy is good, and I'm feeling stronger.

Numbers/Scale
While the intangibles are nice, I still need to see the numbers. When you are 160 pounds overweight, the numbers have to be there. Hence we visit the scale once a week. I must admit, it was in my head this week. I did a couple of midweek checks, and I was not progressing as much as I would have liked considering how I was doing with diet and exercise. Alas, the numbers were decent, but not as much as I'd hoped for:

Weight: 3 lbs lost. 31 lbs total in 9 weeks.
Body Fat %: up 0.4%. Down 3.2% in 9 weeks.

As I said, I was hoping for a 5, but I'll take a 3 after a couple of weeks of 1's.

There's a lot to FOCUS on. It almost has to be selfish. It does take time away from other things. Yet, I am worth it, and I can't afford to lose my focus again.

Testing out my mobile device.

Today is a new day

I thought I'd post a picture of me. Why? Well, because you should have a record of where you have been. I want to be able to look back and see my progress. I didn't do this last time around, except for a few pics when I had lost a bunch of weight.

I HATE having my picture taken when I'm heavy. It makes me mad and depressed. BUT, I have to do this. It makes it real for me (as if it wasn't already). It is that visual reminder that I've got work to do.

Last week was a crossroads, and eventually, the right stuff won out. You see, typically, I hit 7-8 weeks into a weight loss effort, and I begin to fade. I quit eating right. I quit working out regularly. Slowly, it all begins to slip away. I was really freaking out (in my head) about this. "No, this can't be happening" I thought.

I had to get out of my funk. I had to find motivation.
- I spent a lot of time Thurs/Fri reading fitness and weight loss blogs.
- I signed up for Sparkpeople, so I could track my exercise and diet both online and on my phone. And it is working. Yesterday, I ate the exact number of calories I was supposed to.
- I watched episodes of Heavy (http://www.aetv.com/heavy/) - A&E's new show about weight loss. Great show, in some ways better than Biggest Loser. While some of those folks are heavier than I've ever been, I can still relate to what they are going through.

While at the A&E website, I entered a contest for a 10 day retreat to the spa at Hilton Head Island where the show is taped. For the contest I needed a photo.

So, I took a photo this morning. Yes, I'm at 362, but I won't be there for long.

Its a new day!

Getting inside my head

It's been strange 24 hours in there. This week has been difficult. Not bad, not good, but definitely a week to reflect on what I'm doing here.
You see, the week (between weigh ins) started off with a little 4 day vacation to St. George for my daughter's soccer tournament. I did so well on Friday, working out in the morning, eating well on the drive down, etc. Then Saturday came, and little snacks started to slip in, the carbs, the pancakes, the rolls and bread, the tortilla chips and salsa. Needless to say, we ate out a bit, and I chose to enjoy myself. Now I didn't go nuts. I didn't order dessert or anything, but I didn't stick to what I ought to be eating. And I didn't exercise. The weather was crummy, and the schedule didn't cooperate. So there. - But to make matters worse, I was out of my routine when I got home (waking up that is), so I didn't go to the gym on Tues. Then Tues night I had to stay up helping the teenager with homework, so I blew off the gym on Weds. Finally, Thursday I get back to the gym. Oh, and this morning too.

My eating SUCKED this week. I still eat far too few vegetables, I eat way too many processed foods. I'm filling up my car yesterday, and I just could not resist a chocolate cake donut. UGH! What the hell? I was in the gym 5 minutes before that. I need to start keeping a food journal.

Eating right and working out is a cyclical relationship for me. One fosters the other. When i am getting to the gym, I am more likely to eat right. When I eat right, it somehow makes getting to the gym easier. So, this is why the brain is up there at the top of the post. It's all psychological. The inspiration, the highs, the lows, the "I can's" and the "I can'ts". Mental, it really is mental.

What am I doing here? - The things that go through my head go something like this:

"I'm in this for the long haul"
"Don't get discouraged by low numbers"
"10 tortilla chips won't hurt me"
"If you would eat right, you'd have better numbers each week"
"If you would eat right, you would not feel yucky"
"You need to give the gym at least an hour a day"
"Do I really have to eat that much protein?"
"You need to go to bed by 10:30"
"Quit making excuses"
"You have to make choices that are permanent changes"
"Patience grasshopper, concentrate on making progress and being healthy"
"I want cereal for dinner"

And on and on it goes. It's a battle every day.

What do I know?
- I know that I don't want to be fat anymore.
- I know that my quality of life will improve as I become healthier.
- I know that I will live longer if I eat right and exercise.
- I know that change takes time and determination.

I know that I have to keep going.

I guess I could ramble more, but I won't. This is my blog, and my thoughts.

Despite of all of this, I did manage to lose 1 pound this week. Again, not by any means stellar, but still pointed in the right direction.

Numbers:
Weight: 1 lb down. 28 total in 8 weeks.
Body Fat% 0.3% lower. 3.6% overall.

Here's to staying with it!

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...

Ok, so that is a little over the top. It really wasn't that bad of a week, but it wasn't that great of one either.
The good: Good workouts, when I went. Ate relatively well, approximately 50% of the time.
The bad: Missed a couple of days at the gym. Had far too many cheat treats
The result: 1 pound lost this week. Body fat % dropped, which was good, but still, I'd like to see more than a 1 lb difference.

Carbs are evil. I know they hinder my progress, and I eat them anyway. I really need to stick to the greens and the leans. Like my new background? It's a bit busy, but it's a reminder to me of what I need to eat more of. More green, less brown.

Anyway, off for vacation this weekend. Will still try to workout. Going hiking. Should be fun.

Numbers:
Weight: 1 lb this week. 27 lbs overall in 7 weeks.
BF %: Down 0.4% this week. 3.3% down overall

Today's post is brought to you by the number 5

The scale, she is a fickle mistress. Yes, it's Friday and weigh in day. As you can tell by our sponsor, it was a really good day. 5 big ones this week! Yeah me! I think I'm finding my groove. Great workouts at the gym this week. Fairly good on the eating, although always room for improvement (I don't think a Hillshire Farm Cheddar Brat on a white bun counts as 'good eating' last night).

So, here are the no's.

Weight: 5 lbs this week. 26 lbs overall in 6 weeks.

Body Fat %: Up 0.1% (bummer, but still ok)

Last night I was running my son's b-ball practice, and actually got out there and played a little bit, running up and down the court with the boys, doing a little passing and moving around. Was it a pathetic effort by most standards? Yes. Did I feel better than when I did the same thing back in December? Totally! I'm very much looking forward to getting to the point where I'm doing this without hesitation, without fear of pulling something or tweaking something - as Nike says - so I can JUST DO IT.

Pants on the ground

I think last year, there was a mini sensation on American Idol with some crazy old black dude getting up and singing some song about 'pants on the ground'. Today is feeling a little like that. The pants are definitely looser today - thank heavens for belts.
I'm not looking at the scale each day. By happenstance, the scale at the gym has disappeared, and the one I weigh in on each week at home is in the basement, so not convenient. So, I just don' t weigh in each day, and save it for Fridays. Last week was a bit rude on Friday - only losing 1 lb. This week I hope will be better. But, I guess what I'm trying to get across is that with me not weighing in each day, I tend to focus on other indicators, such as the fit of clothing, the way my body feels, the amount of energy I have.
Don't get me wrong, the scale is still THE SCALE. It still says that I am WAY overweight. But, during the week, I can focus on doing my best with eating and working out at the gym, and not worry about some number.