40

Well, I'm 40 today, but I'm alive!



I can honestly say that I feel better today at 40 than I did 10 years ago when I turned 30. I am in better shape, and I feel more energized.

40 is just a number and not a state of mind. My mind is sharp, and I feel alive. I don't think I've ever had a birthday where I started the morning in the gym. I was looking down at my legs in the shower this morning, and thought - dang, there's some definition I haven't seen in quite some time.

I feel loved today. I'm grateful for my wife, my kids, my parents, my sisters and brother, and their families. It's easy to be a success when you have a great support system. I count my blessings for having good health, and the ability to get myself on the road to being healthier. I have no major health problems, and my body works like it should. Yes, I still have more weight that I want to lose, and my body is not where I want it to be, but I'm still committed. I didn't make my goal of being under 250 by my birthday. Oh freaking well. If somebody had told me last year at this time that I would be at 273 on my birthday this year, I would have thought it was possible, but would have thought they were nuts. I was very depressed a year ago about my weight. I had given up, and was starting to get into the mindset of settling for the fact that I would be heavy for the rest of my life. What would weighing 500 lbs feel like, I thought? What is diabetes going to be like? Does taking insulin every day suck? So, yes, I have to give mad props to my sister for pushing me in the right direction. I don't know why it all came together this year, it just did, and I'm grateful. I'm scared as hell to ever put this weight back on again. The thought of losing it all again just turns my stomach. I want to focus on being the best I can be, and as healthy as possible. I know I won't be perfect. I know that I will still eat donuts. But I can't go back to where I was before. I'm still working on my mindset with food. Working on eating to fuel my body, not to calm my emotions. This is a process, not a sprint. The new year is coming, and I'm going to re-tool some of my health and fitness goals for the coming year.

Thank you to all who read, and comment, and the many more that don't even know this blog exists, they just know me. I appreciate the love, the support, the kind words, the praise and encouragement. It has made a great difference and helped me on this journey.

Thank You!