A man with a Plan

This is not me, but it could be. I have one of those charts on my office wall. It's a project plan. At any given time, I can look at it a know where I should be and how my project is going with the goals I set out.

For my weight loss, I have a plan too. It's called Weight Watchers. And so far, so good. I've been doing a lot of reading on WW message boards, and a common theme is 'staying on plan' or OP for short. When you are OP, you are tracking your points, and staying within your daily and weekly allotted points on the Points Plus system.

So far, so good. Stayed on plan this week. Didn't get to the gym as much as I wanted to, but I'll keep after it. It needs to become a habit.
Anyway, 3 lbs lost this week.
-13 in 3 weeks on WW (-22 since the start of the year)

Slow and Steady wins the race

We've all heard the old tale about the tortoise and the hare. The rabbit, built for speed, and an obvious favorite, did not win the race. It was, in fact, the lowly tortoise that won the race. The tortoise, who took his time, but stayed the coarse, and eventually beat that crazy rabbit.
I'm finding that this is the mantra of WW. Like, many diets, they highly encourage you to only lose 1-2 lbs per week or no more than 1% of your body weight (whichever is greater). I've always heard this, but really paid no attention to it. Pfffft! only losing 1-2 lbs a week was for losers or those who were so close to their goal that that was all that was reasonable. Serious losers, those who watch what they eat to the gram, those who exercise an hour+ each day, those who are hard core, they, they can lose up to 4-6 lbs per week, maybe more. I know - I've done it. Yet it doesn't work in the end. Because I'm fat again.
So, this time, I'm taking the role of the tortoise. It's hard. Those big loses previously, really kept me motivated. But maybe, just maybe, they are on to something here. It's a lifestyle change, not a diet. I'm not hurrying up to do this, so I can get back to my real life after I've lost my weight. Hello! Getting back to 'real life' gets you back where you started. I need to change the way I eat - something I can maintain for the rest of my life. This is what I'm trying to learn w/ WW.
So, all of that being said. I lost 3 lbs this week, which is just about right for me. I was hoping for more. But I've got to remember, I'm the tortoise in all of this.

Ch ch ch changes

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Don't want to be a richer man
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Just gonna have to be a different man
Time may change me
But I can't trace time

It's the chorus from the song by the same name by David Bowie. It's a subject that I've been thinking a bit about lately. Changes in life are difficult, and people generally don't like to change. I know I don't like to. Keep an even keel, and keep the ship on coarse, and all is well. Yet, we find things in our lives that we are not satisfied with, things that could be better, but they require the "c" word, change. Change is often likened to eating an elephant, a task so large, and so daunting that most don't even want to consider attempting it.
If you think about the elephant differently, a bunch of small meals instead of one large, large feast that would be impossible to finish in one sitting, the task seems more obtainable. And that addresses another issue, time. You see, change takes time, and we live in a society of of instant gratification. Change takes too long for most. So, true change takes time, long term focus and dedication. You have to view it that way. Small steps, over time, making a difference in the overall change.

Weight loss is a giant elephant for me. I ate most of him once over 9 months in 2008. I didn't eat all of him, but I ate 140 lbs of him. Trouble is, he came back. That elephant is really pesky, and I don't like him much, but I have to deal with him. If I want him to go away forever, I've got to quit doing the things that keep him coming around. He likes it when I eat fast food. He likes it when I don't work out very hard, or not at all. He likes it when I buy muffins at Costco, claiming they are for the family. That elephant really needs to go for good. He stinks, breaks stuff and I don't like having him around.

I guess I've just been thinking about the process this week. The motivation, the daily changes, the perspective, the ups, the downs. I feel like I'm in a good place right now in my journey. I'm feeling stronger all the time. My fitness level is getting better. I did an hour on the elliptical yesterday at a 150 bpm heart rate. Am I perfect? Not even close. I ate cheat food at least once a day for the past week. Eating right is a major deal for me. I know that I have to keep working on it. I know that I have to break down this elephant into smaller pieces. Why do I eat foods I shouldn't? I've got to break in down into smaller bites or battles, battles that I can win.

All that being said, I lost that 1 pound I gained last week, and a little more. I'm not perfect, but I keep going. This whole thing is a process, a journey. Keep the perspective, and keep up the effort.

Turn and face the strain....

Current Weight: 349 <> Down 2.5 lbs from last week. 41 lbs overall in 14 weeks.
Current Body Fat%: 37.5 <> Down 0.3 from last week. 4.2 overall in 14 weeks.

Variables

In continuing with my science and math theme from a few days ago, I'm talking variables today. Variables are those things in an equation that are not numbers. They are usually represented by letters such as x, y, a or b. When the variables in an equation change, the outcome of the equation changes.
One good practice in scientific processes is that you never change more than one variable in an experiment at a time. If you do change more than one variable at a time, then you don't know which variable had the greater impact on the outcome, or if they both equally shared in changing the outcome. This is a no-no if you want to truly understand how each variable affects the outcome.

Had enough science yet?

The same applies to the 'this or that' that I was talking about last week. There were a lot of variables I wanted to tweak to see if I could increase my weight loss (outcome). The problem was that I did a little of all of them, and my results were pretty good this week.
1. I tried to eat more protein and less carbs. Was I perfect, eating a 3g protein to 1g carb ratio? No. It was more like 2:1. But still, more than I had done before.
2. Exercise at a lower heart rate. Instead of pushing it up to 148 - 158 bpm, I kept it 130-140 bpm. Did it help? IDK. I still felt like I got a good workout. I know I didn't burn as many calories overall, but maybe there is something to this 'fat burning zone'. BTW - I still have yet to buy my HRM.
3. Drugs. Yes, I take medication to help me lose weight. I take Phentramine. I truly think, that in 2008 when I lost so much weight, it was the phentramine doing most of the heavy lifting. I think my body is used to it now, and so it is not as effective. So what did I do. I upped my dosage to what it was in 2008 before I quit taking it. 1.5 pills per day instead of 1. This is likely the largest factor for my success this week, but who knows for sure. Eventually I'd like to get away from this stuff.

So, changing which variable made them most difference? Again, I don't know. This is why you should only change one thing at a time. And even then, the human body is so complex that it still may throw you for a loop.

Well, another week, another little bit of me gone.

Numbers for this week:
Weight: 352.5 Down 4.5lbs this week. Down 37.5lbs overall in 11 weeks.
Body Fat%: 37.7% Down 0.6 this week. Down 4% overall in 11 weeks.

This or That

Should I do this, or should I do that? To me weight loss still remains a huge mystery. There are tons of experts, plenty of people that will tell you to do 'this' or 'that'. It's a journey to be sure, and I truly believe that everybody has to figure it out for themselves. What works for one person might not work for you, and vise versa.

Today, I am frustrated. I only lost 2 lbs this week. And yes, while it's still 2 lbs in the right direction, I just feel like I'm capable of more. I feel this way because I did it 3 years ago. 3 years ago I was losing an average of 3-4 pounds per week, sometimes more, and very few times less. In the same 10 weeks in 2008, I had lost 56 pounds. This year, 33 pounds.

I wish I had tracked my food intake better at that time. I wish I had tracked my exercise better at that time.
Here is where I 'think' I'm different right now.
-My workouts are not as long right now. I'm pretty sure I was getting in 1-1.5 hours of exercise 4-5 days a week in 2008. Right now, I get about 45 min, 4-5 days a week.
-I 'think' I was eating more protein and fewer carbs. I don't know this for sure, because I'm only going off of memory here.
-In 2008, phentramine was new to my body. I think I have built up a resistance to it now.

Anyway, all that being said, I'm trying to figure out what to tweak. One 'do this' I'm looking into is to lower my intensity on my workouts. Keep my heart at 60-70% of max. This might be hard. It will definitely take a leap of faith.
My diet clinic is telling me to increase my intake of protein. Right now, I've been taking in approx 250g of protein per day, and they say I should up it to 350-375g per day. That is a ton of protein. I don't know if I can do that. We'll see.
Yet other voices say, "that's too much protein", eat more good carbs, have a good balance. Other studies say, calories in vs calories out is all that matters. Eat good foods, and stay within your calorie budget. Ugh - I just want to throw my hands up! Not give up, but holy crap, there's a lot of differing opinions out there.

So, for this week, I will be lowering my workout intensity a little, and increasing my protein intake -while lowering my carb intake. We'll see what happens.

Numbers for this week:
Current Weight: 357 (2 lbs lost. 33 overall in 10 weeks)
Current Body Fat %: 38.3% (Down .2% this week, and 3.4 in 10 weeks)

Focus

A couple of years ago I was taking a CAD class, and the instructor asked the class why a certain operation wouldn't work that he was trying to do in the CAD program. He knew the answer, but he was testing us. I was the only one who raised my hand, I knew. If the operation, process or function didn't have the FOCUS, it would not execute any commands. On a PC, you give something focus by clicking on it with your mouse.

Same goes for us, at anything we do, but especially weight loss. If an effort doesn't have the FOCUS, then nothing happens.

In this process of weight loss, what do you focus on?

Food/Fuel/Calories In
I have been a lean, mean, tracking machine this week. One week in with the Sparkpeople website and mobile app, and I'm hooked. I can say that since last Sunday, I've recorded everything that went into my mouth. The real time feedback is awesome. I can see where I'm at on my calorie intake, and that is broken down into carbs, fats, and proteins. When considering eating something, it makes me stop and consider a few things, like: do I know the nutrition count for this item?, and how will this affect my food budget for the day? I've been able to stay right around 2200-2400/day calories for the week. Considering that my BMR without working out is right around 3000, and more like 3800 when I do work out, I am aiming for a 1500 calorie deficit each day. Hopefully that equates to a 2-3 lb loss per week.

Working Out/Calories Out
Tried going more cardio this week. Utilized the Precor AMT 100i trainer at the gym. It is a free motion elliptical. It's a great workout. Also got back into running this week. I suck at running. Heck, I shouldn't even call it running. It's more like walk/jog/walk/jog/walk etc. for 45 minutes. But hey, I've got to build up to doing a 5k or two this summer. Overall, a good week working out. I missed Weds due to a brain lapse on my part, but overall good.

Clothes/Strength/Energy
So, if you don't focus on the scale, this is what you focus on. My clothes are getting looser all the time. I'm out of one waist size of pants, and down to the next. My closet should have a revolving door on it. I'm finding it easier to get up earlier. Currently getting up at 5:40am. I'm trying to buy about 5 minutes earlier each week, and it's working. My energy is good, and I'm feeling stronger.

Numbers/Scale
While the intangibles are nice, I still need to see the numbers. When you are 160 pounds overweight, the numbers have to be there. Hence we visit the scale once a week. I must admit, it was in my head this week. I did a couple of midweek checks, and I was not progressing as much as I would have liked considering how I was doing with diet and exercise. Alas, the numbers were decent, but not as much as I'd hoped for:

Weight: 3 lbs lost. 31 lbs total in 9 weeks.
Body Fat %: up 0.4%. Down 3.2% in 9 weeks.

As I said, I was hoping for a 5, but I'll take a 3 after a couple of weeks of 1's.

There's a lot to FOCUS on. It almost has to be selfish. It does take time away from other things. Yet, I am worth it, and I can't afford to lose my focus again.

Getting inside my head

It's been strange 24 hours in there. This week has been difficult. Not bad, not good, but definitely a week to reflect on what I'm doing here.
You see, the week (between weigh ins) started off with a little 4 day vacation to St. George for my daughter's soccer tournament. I did so well on Friday, working out in the morning, eating well on the drive down, etc. Then Saturday came, and little snacks started to slip in, the carbs, the pancakes, the rolls and bread, the tortilla chips and salsa. Needless to say, we ate out a bit, and I chose to enjoy myself. Now I didn't go nuts. I didn't order dessert or anything, but I didn't stick to what I ought to be eating. And I didn't exercise. The weather was crummy, and the schedule didn't cooperate. So there. - But to make matters worse, I was out of my routine when I got home (waking up that is), so I didn't go to the gym on Tues. Then Tues night I had to stay up helping the teenager with homework, so I blew off the gym on Weds. Finally, Thursday I get back to the gym. Oh, and this morning too.

My eating SUCKED this week. I still eat far too few vegetables, I eat way too many processed foods. I'm filling up my car yesterday, and I just could not resist a chocolate cake donut. UGH! What the hell? I was in the gym 5 minutes before that. I need to start keeping a food journal.

Eating right and working out is a cyclical relationship for me. One fosters the other. When i am getting to the gym, I am more likely to eat right. When I eat right, it somehow makes getting to the gym easier. So, this is why the brain is up there at the top of the post. It's all psychological. The inspiration, the highs, the lows, the "I can's" and the "I can'ts". Mental, it really is mental.

What am I doing here? - The things that go through my head go something like this:

"I'm in this for the long haul"
"Don't get discouraged by low numbers"
"10 tortilla chips won't hurt me"
"If you would eat right, you'd have better numbers each week"
"If you would eat right, you would not feel yucky"
"You need to give the gym at least an hour a day"
"Do I really have to eat that much protein?"
"You need to go to bed by 10:30"
"Quit making excuses"
"You have to make choices that are permanent changes"
"Patience grasshopper, concentrate on making progress and being healthy"
"I want cereal for dinner"

And on and on it goes. It's a battle every day.

What do I know?
- I know that I don't want to be fat anymore.
- I know that my quality of life will improve as I become healthier.
- I know that I will live longer if I eat right and exercise.
- I know that change takes time and determination.

I know that I have to keep going.

I guess I could ramble more, but I won't. This is my blog, and my thoughts.

Despite of all of this, I did manage to lose 1 pound this week. Again, not by any means stellar, but still pointed in the right direction.

Numbers:
Weight: 1 lb down. 28 total in 8 weeks.
Body Fat% 0.3% lower. 3.6% overall.

Here's to staying with it!

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...

Ok, so that is a little over the top. It really wasn't that bad of a week, but it wasn't that great of one either.
The good: Good workouts, when I went. Ate relatively well, approximately 50% of the time.
The bad: Missed a couple of days at the gym. Had far too many cheat treats
The result: 1 pound lost this week. Body fat % dropped, which was good, but still, I'd like to see more than a 1 lb difference.

Carbs are evil. I know they hinder my progress, and I eat them anyway. I really need to stick to the greens and the leans. Like my new background? It's a bit busy, but it's a reminder to me of what I need to eat more of. More green, less brown.

Anyway, off for vacation this weekend. Will still try to workout. Going hiking. Should be fun.

Numbers:
Weight: 1 lb this week. 27 lbs overall in 7 weeks.
BF %: Down 0.4% this week. 3.3% down overall

Today's post is brought to you by the number 5

The scale, she is a fickle mistress. Yes, it's Friday and weigh in day. As you can tell by our sponsor, it was a really good day. 5 big ones this week! Yeah me! I think I'm finding my groove. Great workouts at the gym this week. Fairly good on the eating, although always room for improvement (I don't think a Hillshire Farm Cheddar Brat on a white bun counts as 'good eating' last night).

So, here are the no's.

Weight: 5 lbs this week. 26 lbs overall in 6 weeks.

Body Fat %: Up 0.1% (bummer, but still ok)

Last night I was running my son's b-ball practice, and actually got out there and played a little bit, running up and down the court with the boys, doing a little passing and moving around. Was it a pathetic effort by most standards? Yes. Did I feel better than when I did the same thing back in December? Totally! I'm very much looking forward to getting to the point where I'm doing this without hesitation, without fear of pulling something or tweaking something - as Nike says - so I can JUST DO IT.

A pound is a pound is a pound

Guess how much weight I lost this week?

Yes, 1 frigging pound.

Now, the man or woman who is within 10% of their goal weight might be satisfied with such a number, but I am not. Not in the least.
-I worked out hard this week. Tried to get in at least 45 min in each session. I even worked out twice last Friday. Yes, I took Sunday and Monday off, but 6 workouts in the week between weigh ins should be cutting it.
-I ate good. Did I cheat a little? Sure. But not bad. Not whole cheat meals. A bite here and there. Hmmmm.... Probably still need to tighten that up. I need to eat more often, and smaller meals, and more protein.
-My body fat % dropped. If I crank the numbers on this, it would mean that I gained 1.5 lbs of lean muscle, and dropped 2.5 lbs of fat. Net loss = 1 lb. But these days, I don't believe that number too much. You see, at the beginning of the year, my BF% was 41. At MD diet they use a foot impedance machine, so it is primarily measuring through your legs. At home I use an arm one. My one at home had been showing me drop from that 41%, but when I went back to MD diet last week, I was still at 41%, which pissed me off. My BF monitor at home gave me a reading of 38.8% this morning, down from 39.4% last week. Fact is, unless you do a dunk tank measurement, it's hard to know for sure what your true BF% is. All the BF scales in the world are just good guesses. So, why use the BF monitor? It gives me a gauge each week to see how I'm doing. Going up, or down.


In the end, I probably did gain muscle and lose fat this week. So, that is good. The frustration comes from looking back at my progress in 2008, and I was losing 4-5lbs / week at this point in the process. It could also be that the drugs are not as effective to me now as they once were.
Regardless of those things, I have to keep going. Like most things in life, I want this NOW, and I don't like waiting. Yet, I know that it is a process, and it takes time. It takes time to change habits. It takes time to get your body convinced that it should let go of the fat that it has.

I was thinking about it this morning in the shower.... I'm hoping it's like a dam, with a small crack in it. It lets out water ever so slowly at first, but the more water that continues to be let out, the more 'erosion' occurs, and the crack gets bigger, and then before you know it, the rate of water (fat) leaving increases. Maybe a rock comes along and gets stuck in the crack every now and then, and the flow slows a little (plateau). Eventually, the water works on that rock enough to make it move, or the dam material around the rock moves, allowing the blockage to go free. Yes, I want the floodgates to open now, and just be done with it, but that's now how it works - and I would kill all the people and things living down stream ( I have no idea what the correlates to). So, for now it's a bit of a dam problem. But, I will work my dam hardest to keep going. The dam will eventually break from the pressure of the water due to gravity. My own personal dam will eventually break, due to the pressure I place on it by consistently working out and eating right.

Was that long winded enough?

Lastly, stats..

This week
1 lb down, 21 total in 5 weeks
BF down 0.6% Down 2.2% in 5 weeks.

Don't short change yourself

This is the battle I have every morning at the gym. It begins with the battle to wake up on time, and not hit the snooze button (which I inevitably do - at least twice). Then it's get dressed and off to the gym. Once at the gym, I am fully aware of the time, and I know what time I have to leave to be to work on time. You see, 3 years ago when I lost all my weight, my employer at the time had 'flex time', which meant that I could come in as late as 10am if I wanted to, as long as I got my work done, and as long as I got at least 40 hours in for the week. Now, I work at a place that is not as flexible, and I HAVE to be there by 8am. Hence, the workout is done by 7:15 sharp, so I can shower, dress and commute. So, what does this long winded explanation mean? It means that I often end up short changing myself in the gym - timewise - workout wise, maybe only getting in about 30 min of exercise.

I read somewhere last week that Jillian Michaels had said that you need at least 45 min of continuous exercise to make the workout 'worth it'. So, worth it how? Well, while any amount of exercise is a good thing, getting up to or past that 45 minute mark is where your body starts have the afterburn - which is your body kicking up your metabolism post workout. I've read this in other places too, and I believe it to be true. While my results have been decent this time around, there are not what I was getting 3 years ago. In 2008, I was getting in 45min to 1 hr workouts at the gym, sometimes more - and I was seeing much higher weight loss numbers each week.
So, the shortchanging part comes into play, of making the decision to get up earlier, get to bed earlier, eating right. I mean, I'm getting to the gym, so I may as well get the maximum effect out of it.

Anyway - this weeks #'s.

Down 3 lbs. 20lbs total in 4 weeks.
Bodyfat % remained the same.

I'm excited that my daughter does not have an indoor soccer game tomorrow at freaking 7am - yeah! this means I can go to the gym!

Catching up and notches

I didn't report in last week cuz I was going out of town. But I did weigh in, and I had lost 6 pounds for that week. Today was another weigh in and I lost 4 pounds this week.

So, overall, I'm down 25 pounds in 4 weeks. Wahooo!

Being off of Diet Coke hasn't been too bad, but I still crave it every now and then.

Part of the fun of loosing weight is having your clothes get looser, and getting back into clothes you used to fit in. Belts fall into this too.
Below is a picture of the belt I have on today.

It's a little hard to see, but when I first got this belt a few months ago, I was using the second to the last notch. You can see it has the most wear. As I added pounds, I had to go to the last notch. Crap! Then what, I either have to drill a new hole, or buy a new belt. Well, as I've been coming back down, after 2 weeks of eating right and exercising, I went back to notch#2. And then today, another 2 weeks later, I went to notch #3 (it hasn't been used before - cool). And so it goes.
Many times you hear (with respect to sports) "It's a game of inches". In this case it's true. Taking care of business 1 notch at a time.

Friday #s

Another Friday, another weigh-in.

Down 5 more this week.

I was hoping for a few more, but I was a slacker this week, and missed workouts on Tues, Wed, and Thurs. Tues and Thurs just cuz I could not get out of bed. Wed was due to going to Cub Camp for the day. But I got there this morning.

Hoping for better consistency next week in getting to the gym, and hopefully better results.

I've finally decided to narrow it down to one scale. I have one at home that is pretty accurate. I will go with that for my weekly weigh-ins. The one at the gym is good, and the one at MD diet is good too, but I'm always wearing different clothes when I weigh-in. The one at home can be done with no clothes - hence, no varying with the clothing weight. I'll still use the other scales, but they won't be my 'standard'.
I'm still managing to make good food choices. It's still hard sometimes (like the other night when I took my wife and son out for frosty's and I got nothing :-( . But, when I got home, I had SF Jello pudding w/ added protein - which is a pretty tasty treat.