Getting inside my head

It's been strange 24 hours in there. This week has been difficult. Not bad, not good, but definitely a week to reflect on what I'm doing here.
You see, the week (between weigh ins) started off with a little 4 day vacation to St. George for my daughter's soccer tournament. I did so well on Friday, working out in the morning, eating well on the drive down, etc. Then Saturday came, and little snacks started to slip in, the carbs, the pancakes, the rolls and bread, the tortilla chips and salsa. Needless to say, we ate out a bit, and I chose to enjoy myself. Now I didn't go nuts. I didn't order dessert or anything, but I didn't stick to what I ought to be eating. And I didn't exercise. The weather was crummy, and the schedule didn't cooperate. So there. - But to make matters worse, I was out of my routine when I got home (waking up that is), so I didn't go to the gym on Tues. Then Tues night I had to stay up helping the teenager with homework, so I blew off the gym on Weds. Finally, Thursday I get back to the gym. Oh, and this morning too.

My eating SUCKED this week. I still eat far too few vegetables, I eat way too many processed foods. I'm filling up my car yesterday, and I just could not resist a chocolate cake donut. UGH! What the hell? I was in the gym 5 minutes before that. I need to start keeping a food journal.

Eating right and working out is a cyclical relationship for me. One fosters the other. When i am getting to the gym, I am more likely to eat right. When I eat right, it somehow makes getting to the gym easier. So, this is why the brain is up there at the top of the post. It's all psychological. The inspiration, the highs, the lows, the "I can's" and the "I can'ts". Mental, it really is mental.

What am I doing here? - The things that go through my head go something like this:

"I'm in this for the long haul"
"Don't get discouraged by low numbers"
"10 tortilla chips won't hurt me"
"If you would eat right, you'd have better numbers each week"
"If you would eat right, you would not feel yucky"
"You need to give the gym at least an hour a day"
"Do I really have to eat that much protein?"
"You need to go to bed by 10:30"
"Quit making excuses"
"You have to make choices that are permanent changes"
"Patience grasshopper, concentrate on making progress and being healthy"
"I want cereal for dinner"

And on and on it goes. It's a battle every day.

What do I know?
- I know that I don't want to be fat anymore.
- I know that my quality of life will improve as I become healthier.
- I know that I will live longer if I eat right and exercise.
- I know that change takes time and determination.

I know that I have to keep going.

I guess I could ramble more, but I won't. This is my blog, and my thoughts.

Despite of all of this, I did manage to lose 1 pound this week. Again, not by any means stellar, but still pointed in the right direction.

Numbers:
Weight: 1 lb down. 28 total in 8 weeks.
Body Fat% 0.3% lower. 3.6% overall.

Here's to staying with it!