Motivation - My List

Truth be told, nobody makes any changes in their life unless they are doing it for themselves. You can't change for wife, or kids, or parents or peers or anybody. YOU have to find the desire to change within you and for you.

Change is hard, and we search for motivation wherever and whenever we can find it. Somewhere along the way, somebody told me to make an ongoing list of things that motivate me to lose weight, and to keep that list where I can always see it. So, I did this, and I keep it in my weekly log of weight and stats.

Here is my ongoing list, here is what I want:

*I want to be under 250 lbs when I turn 40! (12/11/2008) (this originally said "under 300 by my birthday", but I had to change the goal when I got under 300 back in July)

*I want to be able to play in an indoor soccer league *I want to see my kids grow up and have kids. *I want to be able to run with my kids and play sports with them. *I want to be able to snow ski without pain and discomfort *I want to fit in size 36 or smaller jeans again *I want to have optimal health, no diabetes, no heart disease *I want to be able to play basketball again. *I want to be able to rock climb with my kids. *I want to be able to backpack a 50 miler *I want to be able to dress up at Halloween NOT in a fat costume *I want my wife to think I'm attractive *I want to be able to jump on a trampoline and not fear it bottoming out or breaking. *I want to be comfortable in an airplane seat, and not have to ask for a seatbelt extender. *I want to be able to water ski again. *I want to be able to run a 5K in under 25 minutes And my list goes on......

Is it vanity????

I don't know and I don't care. Today I was at my 'other' office. Right now I work across town from my company's main office. I haven't been back to the 'home' office in about a month, and I had to go there today for a meeting. Knowing this, I purposely wore my new size 42 cargo pants (which make me look slim) and new XL size shirt. Now, these people all saw me only a month ago. Yet, I must have had 10-20 comments today from co-workers about how great I looked.

The one that cracks me up the most is: "I didn't even recognize you. I had to do a double take." My old boss hit me with that one as soon as I came through the front door, and I had 2 others say the same thing. But mostly, it was a lot of "you look great", "good job", "I can't believe how skinny you are". I try to be gracious and just say "thank-you".

I will say that the compliments motivate me. It motivates me to keep going, working out and working hard. Now, I hope that my self esteem is not so based on other people's opinions that when I finally get to my goal weight, that I will feel letdown due to no more comments. I think I feel pretty good about myself and what I've accomplished, so I don't think I'll miss it too much. But for now, I'll enjoy the compliments while they last.

This also has me thinking that I need to be more complimentary to others. We have a lady in our ward who has lost a ton of weight, like myself. I haven't ever talked to her about it, but I really felt on Sunday that I should. I didn't, but I will. You never know the light you bring into someone else's life through a compliment or a kind word. I know what it does for me at least.

Results: Week 40

I guess I will start doing this again. It was kind of a hassle to post these before, but I've been sending out weekly e-mail reports to my family anyway, so I think I'll pick this back up again.

I lost 1.5 lbs this week. ~ Any progress is good progress.

Current Weight: 269 lbs

Total Lost: 138 lbs

Current Body Fat: 28.1%

Total Body Fat Lost: 12.9%

Current Goals:

1) Be at/under 262 by Oct. 31, 2008 (7 lbs to go)

2) Be at/under 250 by Dec 11, 2008 (19 lbs to go)

No Donut October

So, one of my biggest weaknesses is donuts. I frigging love them. I may as well be Homer Simpson when it comes to donuts. They are, quite simply, a weakness for me.



In the past month or two I had been noticing myself slipping back into old habits of getting a donut at the convenience store when I fill up with gas, or just as a treat on the way home. My weight has not been coming off as fast as I would like, and I'm sure that this is part of the reason.

Now, I don't believe in total deprivation of any food. You will go nuts if you do this. BUT, I needed to break my addiction to donuts. So, I self-declared October as "No Donut October". Meaning that I will not have a donut, cake, cookie, pretty much any sweet, carbohydrate type bread product till the 31st of October (Halloween).

Its been working too. There have been times when I've reached for a donut in the 7-11, and thought "Nope, its No Donut October". The drawback has been that I may have inadertently increased my intake of straight sugars, like hard candy. I need to knock that off too! But for now, its about breaking the habit of donuts.

BTW, if I don't reach my goal on Halloween (happens to be a Friday and a weigh-in day) of being at or below 262, then No Donut October continues until I do reach my goal.

Its hard to keep going

I went to the gym today. It was a biotch to get up this morning. But I did it. My weight yo-yo's like a bear. I hit a new low every Friday, and then by Monday, I seem to gain it all back and then some. Then I spend the rest of the week working hard at the gym, trying to watch what I eat, and thinking "well, this will be the week I slide, and don't lose anything." Yet, somehow, I hit a new low, albeit only 1-2 lbs less than the previous week, and we move on. Just once, I'd like to have a weekend where I go to the gym on Monday and I am no heavier than I was on Friday when I left. That would be nice. Trouble is that weekends are my cheat time with eating. The bigger trouble is that I use the whole weekend to cheat. I really need to stop that.
I was contemplating doing a cleanse this week, just cuz I felt so yucky from the weekend. We'll see. I get bummed because I know I should be doing more weights at the gym, but they are hard. And I know that I should be doing Jillian's workout, but it is HARD. I don't like doing jumping jacks, and skipping rope at the gym - I feel silly doing it there in front of everybody. So, for now, I just keep going.

Two Labor Days: 130 pounds apart

So, like I said, I've been having success. FINALLY! I really need to go into detail on what I've been doing, and what has transpired in the last 8 months. The short story is that I'm down 130 lbs. I feel GREAT!

This past weekend, we were up at our cabin, and went to visit a cave in the mountains. The last time we went was on Labor Day 2006, so its been exactly 2 years since we were last there. Just before we went inside, I had my sister snap a picture of me and my family with my camera. A few minutes later I'm reviewing my pictures on the screen on the back of the camera, and I find the ones of my family. Out of nowhere, I exclaim "Damn, I'm skinny". Both my sisters bust up, and just laugh. Like "Duh!!"

When we got back to the cabin, I pulled up a photo on my laptop from visiting the cave 2 years ago. Its one of the pictures I hate most of myself. I think you'll see why below. I was blown away by the difference. See for yourself.

Labor Day 2006

Labor Day 2008


A picture is worth a 1000 words, right? What a difference! I almost can't believe it myself.

It's the thing to do

I started this blog last year as a way to chart my weight loss. Many, many people have done this before. Nothing new. After failing at my attempt last year, I kind of put this aside, and I've only made one post this year so far. Well, now everybody and their dog has a blog, including my two sister's families. While this is not really a blog about my family, I think I will pick it back up again. Just to journal my weight loss and the success I've been having.