Its hard to keep going

I went to the gym today. It was a biotch to get up this morning. But I did it. My weight yo-yo's like a bear. I hit a new low every Friday, and then by Monday, I seem to gain it all back and then some. Then I spend the rest of the week working hard at the gym, trying to watch what I eat, and thinking "well, this will be the week I slide, and don't lose anything." Yet, somehow, I hit a new low, albeit only 1-2 lbs less than the previous week, and we move on. Just once, I'd like to have a weekend where I go to the gym on Monday and I am no heavier than I was on Friday when I left. That would be nice. Trouble is that weekends are my cheat time with eating. The bigger trouble is that I use the whole weekend to cheat. I really need to stop that.
I was contemplating doing a cleanse this week, just cuz I felt so yucky from the weekend. We'll see. I get bummed because I know I should be doing more weights at the gym, but they are hard. And I know that I should be doing Jillian's workout, but it is HARD. I don't like doing jumping jacks, and skipping rope at the gym - I feel silly doing it there in front of everybody. So, for now, I just keep going.

Two Labor Days: 130 pounds apart

So, like I said, I've been having success. FINALLY! I really need to go into detail on what I've been doing, and what has transpired in the last 8 months. The short story is that I'm down 130 lbs. I feel GREAT!

This past weekend, we were up at our cabin, and went to visit a cave in the mountains. The last time we went was on Labor Day 2006, so its been exactly 2 years since we were last there. Just before we went inside, I had my sister snap a picture of me and my family with my camera. A few minutes later I'm reviewing my pictures on the screen on the back of the camera, and I find the ones of my family. Out of nowhere, I exclaim "Damn, I'm skinny". Both my sisters bust up, and just laugh. Like "Duh!!"

When we got back to the cabin, I pulled up a photo on my laptop from visiting the cave 2 years ago. Its one of the pictures I hate most of myself. I think you'll see why below. I was blown away by the difference. See for yourself.

Labor Day 2006

Labor Day 2008


A picture is worth a 1000 words, right? What a difference! I almost can't believe it myself.

It's the thing to do

I started this blog last year as a way to chart my weight loss. Many, many people have done this before. Nothing new. After failing at my attempt last year, I kind of put this aside, and I've only made one post this year so far. Well, now everybody and their dog has a blog, including my two sister's families. While this is not really a blog about my family, I think I will pick it back up again. Just to journal my weight loss and the success I've been having.

Here I go again

Its January - must be time to start a new weight loss effort. My last post in November was pretty depressing. I really didn't see myself getting out of the funk. Luckily, and I won't tell her this, but my sister got on my case (sort of) and it gave me some 'angry' motivation to get going again. I'm trying a place this time called MD Weight Loss clinic. I'm 3 weeks in, and having success, but I'm still not sold on the place. They put me on some meds to help with insulin resistance, and water retention. It freaked me out a little bit, but it seems to be going ok. But I think I'm going to go see my doc, and see what he has to say.

Anyway I'm up and going again. I went right back to the same weight I started out last January. That sucks! But, it was my choice to do that. Now, it is my choice to change. It has got to stick this time!
Numbers:
1/7/08 - Weight: 406, BF% 41
1/11/08 - Weight: 398, BF% 40.4
1/18/08 - Weight: 388.5, BF% 40
1/25/08 - Weight: 383.5, BF% 39.5

I'm depressed - I don't know if I can ever stay with it.

Well, it has gone the way it has always gone. I get burned out, I quit, I give up, the last contest couldn't even keep me from backsliding. I've spent the last few months putting the weight back on. I'm back up close to 400lbs again. My jeans are tight, and I'm uncomfortable. I've been watching NBC's Biggest Loser the last few weeks. It inspires me and depresses me at the same time. The thought of modifying my eating again, going back to the gym again, it all just seems so worthless. I'll just fail again. I don't want it to take 2 years to lose the weight, I want it all to be gone quickly. I know it doesn't work that way, but my motivation is lacking. I've got to do something, I can't keep going like this.

This may be tougher than I thought

Its tax season, so I've been busy trying to get my receipts and all together. So, I'm late in posting my weekly numbers. We went to our cabin for the easter weekend, and I was not a good boy at all when it came to eating. Yet, I still lost 3 lbs. Its hard to say how real that 3 lbs is, because I've weighed myself each of the last few days, and I've gone back up. It's a little discouraging. I did make it to the gym on Monday and this morning. So, thats good. Anyway here are the numbers for the week.

Current Body Weight: 374 lbs.
Current Body Fat: 38.3%

Total Body Weight Lost: 31 lbs
Total Body Fat% Lost: 1.8%

Not the stellar numbers of times gone by, but at least moving in the right direction this week. I got back to running this morning on the treadmill. I really let my training slip the last 3 weeks, and I could tell today. I could barely get a 1/4 mile before I had to go back to a walking pace. All in all, I think I only jogged maybe .45 miles, and walked about .7 miles. I seriously bonked. I guess it just shows that I need to stay at it consistently.

Time to Start Over

Well, we're starting another contest here at work. I hate to admit it, but these stupid things really get me going. I wish I was as successful by just motivating myself. But sadly, the last two weeks have shown that I will return back to old eating habits, and not going to the gym if given the opportunity. So, I'm back on the wagon now. I mean, its only a $20 buy-in, and history shows that I don't have the best luck at winning these things, but it still motivates me.
Well, anyway, I'm back to where I weighed in 3 weeks ago. Essentially, you can take the last 3 weeks and throw them out the window. Here are this weeks #'s

Current Weight: 377 lbs
Current Body Fat: 38.3%


I won't even put my deltas, its too depressing.

But as I said, its time to start over. Not to dwell on the past, but to look forward with faith and hope.